Some Thoughts from My Recent Ballet Classes

To be honest, I’m not one of those “hardcore ballet girls” who take 300 or 400 hours of class a year.
Between work, finances, and life, I’m lucky if I can manage 200 hours annually. That’s not a lot, but it’s something I fight to keep for myself.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little behind.

Some girls who started ballet later than I did are now moving better, progressing faster — all thanks to flexibility training and strength conditioning.
I try not to compare, but sometimes it’s hard not to.

Ballet has always been a kind of redemption for me. But ironically, it also makes me feel inadequate.

I recently came across a principal dancer who shares on Xiaohongshu. She mentioned that while many people turn to ballet for emotional healing, for her — possibly because it’s her job — ballet has also become a source of mental stress.

And I deeply relate to that.

I want to be perfect. I crave progress. But that perfectionism sometimes turns ballet into a battlefield inside my head.
What frustrates me most is flexibility class.
Maybe it’s my lumbar issues, maybe it's disc problems, maybe my hamstrings are just ridiculously tight — either way, I feel like I started from rock bottom. I beat myself up for not sticking to it. I feel ashamed of my limits.

But I’m learning to forgive that imperfect part of me.

To let her dance anyway.
To enjoy movement, even if it doesn’t look good.
To understand that ballet isn’t about catching up. It’s about showing up.

And most of all — that life isn’t something to win. It’s something to live.